This time last year, I was still adjusting to having three children. I don’t know what it is about having a third child, but for our family it was hard to adjust.
Reading has always been a tool that I use to be encouraged through my motherhood. As I was searching books on Amazon one day, I came across Desperate by Sally Clarkson and Sarah Mae. I’m a big Sally Clarkson fan so immediately I clicked on the preview. I began to read the first few pages of the book and I was in tears.
As moms, I think we all can relate to feeling desperate at times.
This book shows a true example of mentorship between the two ladies. Sarah Mae writes Sally sharing her struggles and frustrations as a mom, then Sally responds with encouraging words. Sometimes we need someone to remind us of God’s purpose in each frustrating day.
I remember being envious of this and asking myself the question Why? Why can’t I have that? I suddenly longed for a relationship with an older woman that would encourage me and guide me in the right direction through the stress of motherhood. I remember praying with tears filling my eyes, “God, please send me a mentor like this”. I need uplifting, positive words to be spoken to me on my hardest days. Part of this desperate feeling that I had was for this kind of relationship.
I began to feel frustrated like God wasn’t hearing my prayers. After praying and reflecting on my thoughts, I later felt God speak three simple words to my heart.
Be the mentor.
When we are so focused on our own needs and selfishness then we don’t realize God’s calling that could be fulfilled right now. The current season of motherhood that I am in right now is exhausting, draining, and extremely difficult.
Yes, we all would love to have a cheerleader constantly shouting bible verses and encouraging words when we are having a bad day. But what if we shift our focus more on being an example to our children. Maybe even connecting more with the teenage girl from church. Then, we can be used to honor God through our own difficulties, which in the end can help us to be encouraged.
If you are in a difficult season like myself, take action and find ways to speak words of wisdom to the younger ones around you. Whether it’s your children, or a younger lady on Facebook, or the new mom that has just had her first child. Build relationships and trust in these people, and they may confide in you.
The first step in becoming a mentor is getting serious about your relationship with Christ. Do you read your bible everyday? Are you digging in deep or just skimming the pages? Pick a book of the Bible and take it a chapter a day. Pray that God would speak to you through each passage.
We must make sure that our relationship with Christ is striving and alive when we want to provide wisdom to others. Being a mentor is more than quoting Philippians 4:13 and saying, “everything happens for a reason.” In order to provide a deep connection spiritually, we must understand the advice that we are giving and mirror it in our own lives.
If we want to honor God through a mentor relationship then the words of encouragement that we speak should come from Him and not ourselves. Shallow advice is easy to find in this life, but words of Truth are the real treasure. This treasure takes effort on your part. It takes a close relationship with Christ that spends more time in His word and less time watching reality TV or scrolling through Facebook.
Now, just because you haven’t found the mentor that you long for doesn’t mean God isn’t answering your prayers. God is constantly working through our lives in ways that we are unaware of. He has a plan and we must trust that.
God may never send us this type of mentor but it’s important to still seek encouragement. Whether it’s through books, bloggers, church members, or family members. Don’t be afraid to get deep with these people, you may be surprised at what God can do when we openly share our hearts with those around us.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” -Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
It’s amazing how well we can get to know each other by getting on a different level, a level that desperately wants to please the Lord. We are motivated to search our own hearts for ways to share our own struggles and what God has shown us through these hard times.
So I want to encourage you to go out and be a mentor. Study God’s Word, meditate on it, and memorize it so that you can encourage those around you. Keep praying even when you feel like God doesn’t hear, because He does. He knows what we need and when we need it.
How can you share God’s love with those around you today?